Cows
by Ein Kampf kann eine Lebenszeit
Summary: Edward and Bella go on a road trip before their marriage. Bella finds something out about Edward that makes her laugh.


We were driving down the highway at the posted speed in Edward's Volvo, and he was fidgeting; looking at the speedometer every few minutes, and shook his head disapprovingly

We were driving down the highway at the posted speed in Edward's Volvo, and he was fidgeting; looking at the speedometer every few minutes, and shook his head disapprovingly. We were taking a road trip before our marriage, and we were currently in the middle of Oregon, and it was raining. Edward was used to driving at eighty miles per hour on slick roads, but I was used to breaking down at sixty, so he would just have to suffer.

"Bella, can we possibly drive any faster?" he asked, glaring at the cows outside the window. He was pinching the bridge of his nose. This always made me wonder what was going on in the minds of people – or things – he was listening to. But this reaction was the absolute best. And the most unexpected. The only minds for him to read were the cows, and what could they possibly be thinking that had to make him concentrate so hard.

"Edward, I am the one driving, therefore, I will choose the speed at which we travel," I said calmly, with a smile on my face. I looked at him for a second, but looked back at the road immediately. It wouldn't be wise to be dazzled by him now, and his crooked half-smile was in place already.

"Well then, pull over. The shoulder is wide enough and we are the only people on the freeway," he said in a controlling voice. I could tell he was serious, but I also could tell him that I was not going to pull the car over.

"I'm not going to do that for two reasons. The first being that you drive at ninety miles per hour, and the second being that I have never driven your car, and I want to keep this once-in-a-lifetime chance ongoing for as long as I can, especially seeing as my life is almost over," I said in a slightly pouty voice. He just glared at the road ahead, and I could tell something was being planned in his head.

We continued to drive in silence for two hours, and it had taken us half that time to pass the "horrible, selfish, evil cows". Edward complained about them for a solid thirty minutes before I had the mind to ask what they were thinking. Personally, I found his response hilarious.

_"They only think about how hungry they are or how delectable the food they're eating it. And one was trying to count how many flies were on its own tail. I, personally, haven't eaten for a week and a half, and their thoughts combined with your scent were almost too much for me to handle," he explained sourly. I had managed to keep a blank expression, but when the meaning of his words sunk in, I couldn't help but laugh. And his response of staring at me blankly while I laughed only made me laugh harder._

I started to giggle at the most recent memory. It was hilarious to think Edward, of all people, couldn't handle the thoughts of cows. He started to take the wheel, and pulled us on to the shoulder, noticing my foot had fallen off the gas pedal somehow. By the time he had gotten me to the passenger seat, I was in hysterics. He shook his head, knowing what my laughing fit was about. We were up to one-hundred miles per hour before I stopped laughing, and that didn't take too long.

"Bella," he said in a soft voice when I was done, "I would really appreciate it if you wouldn't laugh at me." He meant what he said, and he knew I loved him, but I had to laugh again. He sighed.

"I'm counting the days until I can laugh at you for being a vampire and not being able to handle it the entire time," he said in an even voice. That stopped my laughing immediately. He'd been at this for over one-hundred years, I would be a brand new recruit, of course I would slip up, and he was going to laugh at me? My face must have dropped because Edward wrapped his arm around my waist and kissed my forehead.

"Don't worry. I'll help you every step of the way, only laughing when Emmett does," he said in a reassuring voice. How could he joke about laughing at me? Yes, he did it enough, but I had a feeling it would only get worse. What if I was still as unbalanced when I was a vampire, what if I couldn't adapt to the Cullen's lifestyle? What if I was someone else entirely? Would Edward still love me?

"Edward, what if I'm different? Will you still love me?" I asked in a small voice, entwining my hand in his. He looked ahead, making no movement except speeding up to one-hundred and twenty miles per hour. He didn't look like he was going to answer, so I looked out the window just in time to see a heard of more cows. When we passed them, he went down to eight-five.

"Bella, I will always love you, no matter how you are. Nothing can, or ever will, change the way I feel about you," he said, not looking away from the road. I smiled to myself and drifted to unconsciousness.

I woke up to a string of profanities I didn't think I would ever hear pass through Edward's mouth. I looked at him, still groggy. He was glaring at the dashboard of his silver Volvo, enraged. I looked around, but couldn't see anything. I hated the night. One reason only. I couldn't see anything. And here, Edward was cursing God knows what in the middle of no where with no gas in the car.

I had to do a double take. No gas in the car? Middle of no where? And the lights to the car were off. I had seen one too many scary movies to know better than to leave the lights off, so I reached for the button. Edward's hand wrapped around my wrist, stopping the movement.

"If I don't see them, it's easier," he said quietly. I looked at him, confused. Very few things he did confused me, and I didn't like it.

"Edward, what are you talking about?" I asked, his cool hand still around my wrist. He rarely kept things from me, unless my life was in danger. Oh God, what if we were surrounded by vampires who were just waiting for the right moment? What if –

My thoughts were interrupted by Edward's phone vibrating. He answered it quickly, releasing my hand. I brought my knees to my chest and wrapped my arms around my legs. He only nodded his head o respond to – I don't even know who was on the phone. He snapped it shut and told me the details of the conversation.

"Alice will be here soon with gas, and we'll be on our way as soon as that happens," he said quietly, his voice barely above a whisper.

I didn't see anything, scared of being in danger. Again.

We sat in silence for a while, and before I could ask how much longer Alice would be, I saw a pair of headlights approaching fast. Before I could even think I knew it was Alice, her head beams showed me what was surrounding Edward's car. There were, at most, ten cows surrounding us. Alice go out of her car and filled the tank up quickly. Edward reacted quickly. He honked the horn twice, and was going fifty in four seconds. I laughed quietly.

"Bella, it isn't funny," he said seriously. His hands were gripping the steering wheel as hard as he could without breaking it.

"Edward, you're scared of cows, aren't you?" I asked. He clenched the muscles in his jaw and we said nothing more for the rest of the trip.

**Well, this is my first Twilight fanfiction, so anything would be appreciated. I did this in 30 minutes, so there might be mistakes. Anyway, please review.**


End file.
